This column is a way for me to cope with this transformational process that I am going through. At the same time, I hope that this article will be helpful to other people in that my sharing may provide solace through the recognition of similar developments in these emotionally eruptive times. So here it goes….

The last two weeks of April, I was emotionally purging big time. My emotions were going haywire. It felt as if someone was pulling out a tooth from my emotional body. The pulling, however, came in waves without a real pattern. Although, it was more intense when I was meditating. I doubted everything and by that I mean everything! My relationships, my ideological project which I was so passionate about and not to forget myself…. The old 3rd dimensional diagnosis of this would probably be that I am depressed. And maybe I was/am, but I just know intuitively that there is a bigger picture here. This feels different than all the other emotional upheavals I have ever experienced. It truly feels like I am in a transitory process of some kind. This time, however, İ feel strong enough to endure it. There is a strong sense of self although that is in transition as well. It is as if İ know that the direction that İ am heading to is the right one, not knowing what the exact destination will feel like or be….. There is a strong self confidence and a strong awareness of knowing that this is the right path.

İt is as if İ can better handle the effects of the crumbling down of my old belief systems. This crumbling down is catching up energetically as this journey intensified a little over a year ago. Fundamental questions such as who I am, what is love, how do İ serve, what is the role of Religion and Spirituality in my life, what is it that İ truly want and how much of that is truly mine, what is my purpose in life have all passed review and still is. Adding to that the mind boggling understanding that we have star brothers and sisters who are actually taking care of and guiding us in this period of transition with ascension as the end goal which in itself is not the end but merely the beginning as everything is in flux, nothing is constant and so on….. (taking a deep mental breath again….. :-)).

There were moments that the pill was just 2 big to swallow and got stuck in my throat so that I had to flush it down with a lot of water. Miraculously though, overall speaking, it has not been as glass shattering as one might expect up to this point (don’t get me wrong,  don’t wanna suggest the ride is over already). That might have to do with my relatively young age (1983, although the notion of incarnation would strip this argument from its validity) or maybe that in a way I was always open to new/other beliefs and experiences. What has really worked for me though was the ‘Awakening the Illuminated Heart’ workshop designed by Drunvalo Melchizedek. I have learned to consciously move into my heart space, where unity, peace, calmness, love, compassion and what have you resides. Absolutely brilliant!

İ feel that the incoming frequencies are intensifying as İ feel that there are changes inside of me occurring.  İ feel the connection to nature exponentially growing stronger than ever before and İ am seeing into the souls of people much more intensely and frequently without even first having to connect with words. The phrase in Avatar ‘İ see you’ gets a whole different meaning.

İ am also in the process of redefining the relationship with my girlfriend as İ am redefining love. İ am in the process of feeling/knowing that I am whole and complete by myself as İ don’t need anything outside of myself to make me whole. This culminated in me crying my eyes out and pouring my heart out to my girlfriend. As a result of which she understands it now on the heart2heart level and we both feel much better about the relationship. In hindsight, this is all that I wanted to have, to have that heart2heart connection back but on a deep level.

It is as if I am breaking my bonds with all my relations just to rebuild them later. More pure and without any strings (read: expectations) attached… This brings about waves of emotional reactions when I am confronted with it… I am breaking with the old ways and as corny as it sounds, the metaphor of a caterpillar that is turning into a butterfly describes this emotional, spiritual, social, mental and physical transformation perfectly that I and the rest of the human and sentient beings on Gaia and Gaia herself are going through in these extraordinary times.

In this process I am finding the much needed support in certain channellings who somehow just know exactly what to channel and when to channel it. I would like to post a few of them which have meant a lot to me and finish this article with some wise words from my brother and sisters in the Andromeda council:

All who are ready, are now in the process of clearing physical cellular memory as well as any dormant energies still within the emotional and mental bodies. This is necessary in order to assimilate the new and higher frequencies of ONE–frequencies of Light and unconditional love.

These clearings can at times be uncomfortable. Your job is to allow the process, rest more if you need it, but do not claim that which is leaving, back in. This is often inadvertently done through saying; “I am so depressed, I am so this or that…” which occurs because you are re-experiencing some of these old frequencies as they release. Often you feel them as physical or emotional discomfort, but as spiritually aware individuals your job is to simply allow the process. If an issue keeps presenting itself to your thought, then look at it, for it may be something needing to be released in a more conscious way through an honest examination of your belief system.

To have spent so many eons in the illusory environment that you made in which to play your games has caused you to build around yourselves a hard shell to protect you from the attacks that have been an ongoing aspect of that strange environment. What you are mostly now engaged in is softening and removing that shell so that you can fully interact with the divine field of Love that surrounds you at all times and which longs to hold you in Its loving embrace.

To soften this shell, and to enable you to let it go, you are addressing all these unloving issues and attitudes as they pour into your awareness, sometimes with very unsettling effects. To awaken is to awaken into the divine Presence where all is Love. Anything that is unloving cannot enter because the brilliance of the divine Light utterly overwhelms and terrifies anything that is unloving. Any fear you may have that you will be divinely judged and found wanting stems from your deep inner knowing of this.

Go out into nature, quiet your mind, live from your heart, await these changes with love for yourself & all others…. and you will awaken in joy to a beautiful new world.


In Lak’esh (Mayan greeting and goodbye, meaning “You are another me”)

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